By Jake Corbin
With the California Legislature leading all nominees in this year's category for "Best Budget Failure," the public doesn't seem to be too happy with any of its government workers these days.
Most already perceive the life of a government employee to be a cakewalk; the words "lazy" and "under worked" come up more than a few times when Google searching "State worker" (and they get every holiday off, too!).
But for every Ceasar Chavez Day off and every long lunch break, most people aren't aware of the several asinine rules the average State worker is forced to follow on any given day.
"Sorry I was late..."
For most adults in the wonderful world of employment, showing up a few minutes late to work -- on occasion -- is not a big deal. In fact, showing up within two minutes after your start time would probably qualify as "on time" for most employers.
Supervisors for certain state agencies (who shall remain nameless), however, do not feel the same way -- every minute of every day must be logged.
"Sorry I was late, boss; the light rail was running late."
"Yeah, I'm sorry for you, too. I'll need you to account for the five minutes you missed this morning."
While being on time is an important virtue for all employees to embrace, being marked tardy is something that should be left to high school teachers.
"I know you have access to everything, but..."
Technology is a wonderful thing, right? That's not always the case for State workers.
One rule nearly all government employees must adhere to is: Personal internet, e-mail and phone use is not allowed during work hours. If you are on break, you better put up a sign making it obvious to the world before logging into your Gmail account.
The problem with this is, as long as you are finishing your work, what difference does it make? The state is already paying for the services, why not get some use out of them? A quick check of the e-mail is not going to cause the agency to come crumbling down (please also revisit the "aren't we all adults?" plea stated earlier).
Second, the world runs on the Internet, e-mail and phone use. If workers are not allowed access to this, they are being shut off from everything beyond their cubicle walls. Sounds a little like Communism, doesn't it?
"The customer is always right..."
The best rule has been saved for last -- "The customer is always right." We've heard this one a million times before; in fact, many private businesses follow this philosophy as well.
Here's a newsflash, though: The customer is NOT always right. Some would go so far as to say they are wrong 90 percent of the time, particularly when dealing with government paperwork.
In addition, many customers are well-trained in the art of being rude. This makes it virtually impossible at any point in time for them to be "right."
Still, no matter what nasty names come out of their mouth, no matter how much they yell, State workers can never tell the customer what they really think. That would be using "negative language" and the State advises against that.
"We need to talk about your TPS reports"
The movie "Office Space" gave the world a glimpse into the misery life in a cubicle can bring, but it was also a work of fiction. State workers, on the other hand, occupy their office space five days a week, handling everything that comes along with it.
So, the next time you overhear a conversation about the "lazy" State workers with "too many coffee breaks" maybe you'll have some sympathy and think twice about joining in.
After all, at least you don't have to take five minutes out of your lunch break to make up for walking in at 8:05 a.m.
(Feel free to still be mad at the state Legislature, though.)
3 comments:
stupid blogspot won't let me use openid anymore. LAMESAUCE.
anyway.
the only thing i would object to here is your use of the semicolon in the following sentence:
"The state is already paying for the services, why not get some use out of them; a quick check of the e-mail is not going to cause the agency to come crumbling down"
a couple other things, "fore" instead of "for" and "well trained" instead of "well-trained"
other than that, good blog. i like how you broke it up into sections...creative! although, i'm sucka free cause i don't have to deal with bs like this, thank goodness. love the "negative language" euphemism, if that's what you can call it. ohh well, at least you'll always have sprinkle doughnuts....
Jake I like your post! Office Space is a good comparison. I love when the guy talks about how people work just enough to not get fired...so true!
The column did an interesting job of showing the life of a state worker.
And by giving solid examples - actually linking the examples for the most part - the reader gets a nice smorgasbord to ponder.
Perhaps best in the column was the last of the batch, using the movie Office Space as a foil.
TSP reports indeed.
What did the column need?
Mostly, some tighter writing in spots.
For example:
"Some would go so far as to say they are wrong 90 percent of the time, particularly when dealing with government paperwork.
In addition, many customers are well trained in the art of being rude."
I think the column could say:
"Customers are wrong nearly 90 percent of the time, particularly when dealing with government paperwork.
And many are well-trained in the art of being rude."
Overall, the column made good points and was pretty entertaining, especially for state workers, I would imagine.
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